The Dance | Randy Frazee | Fit to Fight for the Family
Teaching Notes
Marriage is like a Dance
The Bible never talks about marriage in the form of a right but as a responsibility.
Core Passage:
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Ephesians 5:21
The Husband leads with love
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
Ephesians 5:22-32
Recommendations for men:
Leadership is not Lordship – don’t use your authority to get your way.
Make decisions that will benefit her not you
Ask “What does she need?”
Affection
Conversation
Honesty & Openness
Financial Support
Family Commitment
Where are you taking her?
The Wife’s follows with respect
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:33
Recommendations for women:
Admiration
Respect him for the progress he is making.
You keep up with your part of the dance.
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
1 Peter 3:1-6
Action Required: Signatures
“I will lead with Love”
“I will follow with Respect”
Going Deeper Discussion
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
Ephesians 5:21-32
Paul transitions from talking about the church in general to marriage specifically then back to The Church.. i.e. the body of Christ, with the idea of mutual submission in verse 21.
In verse 25 Husbands or encouraged to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. What did that look like? How can a husband follow that example in his marriage?
Read John chapter 13. How does Jesus model leadership for his disciples? What would you call that?
If a husband were to exemplify Christ-like servant leadership with his wife, what would submission to that look like? Would that still be a difficult thing to do? How does it relate to first 21?
Why do you think Paul comes back in verse 31 and 32 to connect this picture of marriage with Christ and the church?
How is this picture of marriage also a reflection of the gospel of grace for our salvation?
Sunday Set List
WFC Lenexa + WFC Anywhere
Raise A Hallelujah- Bethel Music
Who My God Is- Mitch Langley
Peace Be Still- The Belong Co. Feat/Lauren Daigle
Mercy- Elevation Worship/Maverick City
WFC Speedway
Battle Belongs- Phil Wickham
There Is A King- Elevation Worship
Jireh- Maverick City
Raise A Hallelujah- Bethel Music
Be sure to save our Spotify Worship Playlist, updated weekly with the upcoming Sunday’s set!