Being the Right Person | Randy Frazee | Fit to Fight for the Family

Fit to Fight

Jul 18

Teaching Notes

The Biblical Definition of Marriage:
Marriage is a covenantal union between a man and a woman into oneness for a lifetime, reflecting the image of God for the purpose of bringing new life into the world and caring for that life.

“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Genesis 2:23-24

The Guiding Principle in Finding the Right Person:
“I will only date and marry a strong, proven, committed follower of Jesus.”

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.
2 Corinthians 6:14a

New Principle

Once you say, “I do” your key question shifts from “how do I find the right person?” to “how do I become the right person?”

Therefore, if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Philippians 2:1-5

Two Marriage Killers:

Selfish Ambition – always needing to get my way
Vain Conceit – always thinking I am right when in fact I’m not

Two Resolutions:

Humility – Put those two things down for the sake of your mate.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:1-5)

My mission is to become like Jesus for the sake of my mate.

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
Galatians 5:13-15

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23

Going Deeper Discussion

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
Galatians 5:13-15

Thinking of these verses in the context of marriage, what is Paul saying about freedom and service?
In a committed marriage, what small freedoms are given up for the sake of some greater freedoms? Give some examples.
To "love your neighbor as yourself" is the fulfillment of the old covenant law according to Jesus. Does this quote from Tim Keller align with that truth in regards to marriage? How so? What if only one partner is willing to behave this way?
What is Christ ,through Paul, calling Christian marriages to that is different than what we typically see in the current cultural view of marriage? How do we pursue that?

“If two spouses each say, ‘I’m going to treat my self-centeredness as the main problem in the marriage,’ you have the prospect of a truly great marriage.”
Tim Keller