Lying | Dan Deeble | Creatures of Habit

Creatures of Habit

May 30

Teaching Notes

That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. (Ephesians 4:20-25)

We can detect the lies in others but rarely detect the lies within _________

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. (Ephesians 4:25)

Falsehood: greek: ψεῦδος pseudos lie; falsehood, from which we get pseudo, which means not genuine or sham.

THE SEVEN TYPES OF PSEUDO LIES

THE ____________ - we are guilty of always “rounding up”, prone to exaggeration, round out the edges, and have this propensity for spin - and often to make myself more presentable to others.

THE ____________ - as a harmonizer, you minimize the truth as protection from “stirring the pot” or creating greater conflict. Your favorite phrases might be “No big deal” or “It’s fine”. When you do share your true feelings, they can come out as passive aggressive behavior dealing with hard things directly is not your forte

THE ___________ – you’re selective with the truth. You offer just enough for the appearance of truth and authenticity but, in actuality, you keep people at a distance and often will withhold to your advantage or protection.

THE _____________ – you keep the truth in different buckets. Consequently, the truth about you is not fully integrated throughout your entire life. What’s true about you at home, is not always true about you at work. What’s true about you in your Westside relationships may not be true when you’re with your old college friends. What’s true about you in person is not true about you digitally.

THE ___________ – you mean well and you want something to be true. You’re aspirational with the truth. Although you haven’t started that project, for example, when asked you might say “I’m on it.” Or you may text that you’re almost there when you’re still 20 minutes away but you really want to be almost there.

THE ________ – your favorite phrase is “that’s because…” because we have an explanation for everything. Sometimes we blame someone else or other things and have difficulty taking ownership for things.

THE __________________ - this is where we tiptoe around the Truth a bit. Throw out a little smoke and mirrors and will obfuscate the Truth in order to not be caught in an error or be seen at fault.

Why Do We Lie?

It all started with a _______

“…He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.” (John 8:44).

Lying is our unconscious ____________.

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;...” (Ephesians 4:22).

Because it _________.

“What’s the harm in this anyhow?”

v.25: “speak truthfully to your neighbor…”,
v.25: “...for we are all members of one body.”

Paul appeals to us on the basis of _______________!

v.24: “created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

v.24: “created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

Greek: δικαιοσύνη - dikaiosynē: pertaining to being in a _________ relationship with someone”
“This means, then, that Biblical righteousness is inevitably ‘social,’ because it is about relationships. When most modern people see the word ‘righteousness’ in the Bible, they tend to think of it in terms of private morality, such as sexual chastity or diligence in prayer and Bible study. But in the Bible tzadeqah (righteousness) refers to day-to-day living in which a person conducts all relationships in family and society with fairness, generosity, and equity.”7 (Timothy Keller; Generous Justice)

v21: “in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus.”

God is Truth and ____________ Truth in Jesus.

RELATIONSHIP

RESULT

MYSELF

__________

OTHERS

__________

GOD

__________

COMMUNITY

__________

What happens when we do what Paul actually commands and we “speak truthfully to your neighbor?”

“But this is what you must do: Tell the truth to each other. Render verdicts in your courts that are just and that lead to peace.” Zechariah 8:16

That word for peace is a beautiful one: __________. A comprehensive, multi-faceted, multi-layered harmony among all relationships – with God, within ourselves, with one another, in society, and throughout all creation.

A more literal translation: “for peace in your _________.” (Zechariah 8:16, NASB)

Question: How can honesty bring peace within your gates?

Instead, let the _____________ renew your thoughts and attitudes. (Ephesians 4:23)

Going Deeper Questions

Do you feel comfortable sharing what your “lie score” was initially and then what it became after the talk? Any shift in your score?

Given the 7 Ways that we tell “PSEUDO LIES”, which one convicts you the most?
Does it help to see the importance of truth telling by shifting our understanding from an ethical lens to a relational one? How so?
Would you feel comfortable sharing about a time that you experienced the pain of being lied to? What happened in you and in your relationship?
Conversely, describe a time when someone practiced simple, loving, and candid truth telling? What happened in you and in your relationship?
How can you personally bring honesty “within your gates”?