The Blindspot
Blindspots. We all have them.
But it’s what we do when we discover them that counts.
About ten years ago, Westside Family Church hosted the annual Christmas party for DCCCA (a state-wide foster service agency). Up to that point, hosting this party for foster/adoptive families was a blind spot. In other words, we didn’t realize the need existed until someone asked for help. If you’re one of the more than 100 volunteers involved in this party in years past, you know its impact!
But while Westsiders stepped up and met one need with service and love, the opportunity brought visibility to another oft-overlooked need: caring for the social workers themselves.
Imagine being on call 24/7, ready to respond to a crisis emergency and daily responding to and caring for the needs of a never-ending stream of children facing unspeakable pain and uncertainty. It’s easy to understand how quickly weariness may set in. Emotional exhaustion, stress, long hours, and low pay are a few reasons turnover rates remain high.
A national career mentoring website estimates the average social worker's job tenure is a scant 2.6 years. As far as industries with the highest turnover rates, social services come in third – right behind food services and motion picture industries!
In just a couple of weeks (December 10), Westside will host the annual Foster Family Christmas party. This year, the party will serve two foster agencies (DCCCA and TFI) and their network of families. As a church, we will again love on these beautiful families and children…and the workers themselves.
This week’s blog looks at the history, the shifts, the discoveries, and the importance of consistency and commitment.
December 201 0
“How did Saturday’s party go, Kathi?” Jeff Manford had stopped Kathi Goetz as they passed each other in the hallway. Christmas cheer was around every corner in the Westside building, and he was eager to find out how the church's DCCCA foster/adoptive family Christmas party was received.
“Well,” Kathi paused. “It went well, but Jeff, Westside has a real opportunity to serve these families next year. The party was very nice, but pretty bare bones. Here, let me show you a couple of photos from Saturday.”
Kathi leaned over, pulling up some pictures on her phone. The images revealed a lightly decorated space with smiling children nibbling on store-packaged Christmas treats.
“Jeff,” Kathi continued, "these social workers rely solely on donations to do this, and I don’t know how they even pulled THIS off with everything they have on their plates.”
Jeff slowly nodded his head. “I see where you’re going with this, Kathi. Yes, let’s talk about this in our next planning meeting.”
2011
An adoptive parent herself, Kathi had developed a huge heart for children who came from complex and often traumatizing homes. She had a unique perspective of how the slightest kindness could bring a smile but also how children in the system became conditioned to expect very little from a world that repeatedly let them down.
Kathi was blessed to be part of an A2 Community comprised of other foster/adoptive families who all shared the same heart. When she shared with them that she had been given the green light to host a Christmas party for DCCCA, the group immediately began dreaming and brainstorming. It was in those initial conversations that the church’s first “angel tree” style gift drive was born.
Kathi couldn't contain her excitement as the plans started coming together. Her heart brimmed with anticipation as she opened her email to reach out to her DCCCA contact. She began to write:
“Hi Lisa, I am writing to let you know that Westside is excited to host the DCCCA Holiday Party again this year. But we’d like to do a little more than provide the space. We know how busy you all are, and planning a party is probably the last thing you have the energy to do. Westside would like to plan and host the whole party for you this year. All you need to do is show up. We’d also like to provide gifts for the children. Is that something we could work on together? Let’s talk soon!
Kathi”
Lisa Marx was DCCCA’s Waiver Coordinator. Planning the Christmas party was part of her responsibilities. She read Kathi's email and paused. “Did I read that right?” she thought to herself.
She re-read Kathi’s message and decided just to pick up the phone and dial her number.
Lisa didn’t wait for the greeting. As soon as Kathi picked up, she blurted “Kathi – it’s Lisa!”
“Oh, hi, Lisa…” Kathi sounded surprised.
“I just got your email – are you serious? You want to do the whole party for us?”
“Oh, yes! Absolutely, and we’d also like to do a gift tree for the children, so they all have a present to take home. Is that doable?”
“Kathi, yes! This is amazing! And yes, I’m sure we can make a gift program work.”
In the following weeks, the women gathered a gift list and coordinated gift tags to hang on the tree at Westside one Sunday morning.
When it came time for the party, Kathi and a small group of ten volunteers busily worked together to decorate and prepare the room. A row of donated teddy bears for the children adorned the front of the stage. A mountain of carefully wrapped gift donations filled the base of the Christmas tree. Volunteers sang along with Christmas music as they set up holiday crafts in another corner of the room and covered a buffet table with trays of food and homemade treats. The room looked like the set of a Hallmark Christmas movie!
“Kathi, Lisa is here,” one of the volunteers whispered in Kathi’s ear.
Kathi turned just in time to see Lisa walk through the door along with Kathi’s case worker Sarah. The women were clearly overwhelmed by the sight of the room. Kathi walked over, arms stretched wide for a hug.
“Kathi, we had no idea this is what you were talking about doing,” Lisa said as she tried to take in the holiday explosion that filled her eyes.
“Oh, Lisa, we are so happy to do this for you,” Kathi replied.
“Kathi, this is absolutely incredible!” Sarah added as she leaned in for a hug.
“I don’t think you have any idea what a gift this is to the families but also our entire team! In past years, we were limited by what we could find in donations and the time we could spend between home visits and crisis calls. But this…”
“Lisa’s right, Kathi,” Sarah added. "For us to be able just to show up and enjoy the morning with the families and children we serve is just – well, you cannot possibly know what a joy this is for us.”
2013
In 2013, industry veteran Teresa Johnston-Arndt joined DCCCA. She was looking forward to helping Lisa with the Christmas party plans that year.
At their first planning meeting, Lisa began dividing up responsibilities by region. When they came to the region served by the Lawrence office, she paused and smiled.
“So, we don’t need to worry about the party through our Lawrence office. Westside Family Church hosts it for us, and it’s phenomenal.”
“Wait…you mean? That they provide the space, right?” Teresa tried to clarify.
“No – they actually do the whole thing. You’ll be blown away when you see it – it’s so well-organized. They do all the food, crafts, and decorations and even bring gifts and Santa for the kids!”
“They do all that?”
“ALL that!”
“So, all we have to do is show up, visit with our DCCCA families and children, and have a good time? Are you kidding me?”
“Yes! We just get to relax and have fun. They even clean up afterward!”
“WOW! Can we find a Westside in all our communities?” Teresa laughed.
“That would be amazing, wouldn’t it?”
2014
By 2014, Kathi Goetz was moving with her family to Houston, but she had confidence the party would continue. And it did. In the coming years, the gift tree had become so popular that tags expanded to include items for an entire family gift (i.e., games, food, gift cards).
The event grew with more and more volunteers helping each year. Jen Decker, Network 1.27 Director, was struck by the joy she saw on the social worker's faces year after year. She knew their job was hard. She knew how much they sacrificed to do a thankless and oft-criticized job.
She’d heard incredible stories from them over and over.
Stories from people like Teresa, who was a bit of a rarity in the industry on account of her long-term commitment to the job. Her work as a social worker began in 1987. While working on her master’s degree at KU, Teresa worked in a group home for girls who had been removed from their families and didn’t have anywhere else to go. She was just one in a long string of residential caretakers for the girls in this emergency shelter but quickly became a favorite.
That experience bolstered her conviction that residential group homes were not the place for traumatized children, but at the time, options for these kids were slim. Very few foster homes were available.
Years later, Teresa would find herself in court speaking out on behalf of a family caring for two of five siblings. The judge was prepared to send all five children back to their birth home despite the mother's lacking demonstration of positive changes. When the foster mother looked at Teresa, Teresa knew she couldn’t remain silent.
Digging deep, she stood up to the judge and fought for her client to keep custody of the two children. The judge relented, allowing the two to stay, but sent the other three back to their birth mother. Within weeks, the mother lost custody of her children again when conditions in the home became unsafe. Eventually, all five siblings were reunited and adopted as a group by Teresa’s client.
To this day, Teresa shudders to think what would have happened if she hadn’t stood up as an advocate for the children in that courtroom. Instead, they had a chance at a positive life full of opportunities in academics and sports.
Jen Decker and her Network 1.27 team knew many stories like Teresa’s. They also knew stories of outstanding case workers whose experiences were so traumatizing that they couldn’t continue the work.
Sure, the Christmas party was an excellent event but was it enough? Were they missing a big piece of the care equation hiding in plain sight? She wondered.
2018
The Network 1.27 team had an idea to increase care for social workers. One of their first significant initiatives would be a surprise.
Several weeks before the Christmas party, Jen reached out to Lisa and Teresa to ask how many staff worked in their office. The women didn’t think much of the question, but unbeknownst to them, Westside added gift tags for each DCCCA social worker to the trees that year.
As the Christmas party festivities finished, Jen’s team gathered the case workers before leaving.
“We know how hard you work every day for these families and children, and we just want you to know we see you and appreciate you,” Jen began. “Before you leave today, our team of volunteers has a gift for each one of you. Merry Christmas!”
The DCCCA team looked at each other with surprise.
As each person opened their envelope, they were greeted with a handwritten note of appreciation and a gift card. It was a simple gesture that spoke more than words could communicate.
Lisa looked around the room, quietly observing the reactions of her friends and coworkers. It was overwhelming.
Clutching her envelope tightly, Lisa walked over to Jen.
“Everyone always gives to the kids, Jen, and that’s how it should be,” Lisa began. “I know you know we do this work because the work in itself is rewarding. We really don’t need anything, but I must tell you that nobody has ever done something like this for us. To be remembered and thought of this way is just…well, it’s a great surprise. I know I speak for everyone when I tell you, THANK YOU!”
There it was. The blindspot revealed. The need hidden in plain sight. The gift was small, but that day, the difference it made was enormous, and the foster/adoption care ministry knew they were heading in the right direction.
A couple of years later, the pandemic hit, and Westside knew a shift would have to happen again. One thing was for sure – despite all the advice from health agencies, nobody was about to give up on this party. Even the workers who were missing the regular in-person visits with their families. Virtual was just not the same. But how could they make it happen?
Slowly, ideas began to form. In 2020, Westside would host a “Drive-through Christmas Party!” Instead of buying gifts this year, Westsiders were invited to give to a single fund. The church then used that fund to purchase gift cards, family fun baskets for the children and their families, and gift cards for the social workers. On the party day, families drove through a line of Christmas cheer with DCCCA case workers and other support staff greeting them as they arrived and loading their cars with gifts and treats.
In 2021, the party began returning to normal as the pandemic slowed its roll. And in 2022, the party is back, but with some tweaks, most notably that the party is now expanded to serve not one, but two foster agencies – DCCCA and TFI.
Through it all, one thing has stayed constant – Westsider's commitment and dedication to demonstrating love and support for foster/adoptive families and the social workers who serve them.
Sign up here if you are interested in helping with this year’s Foster/Adoptive Family Christmas party! Volunteers are needed from start to finish with set up, greeting, crafts, food, assisting children, and clean up. And if you’d like to learn more about how you can serve through the foster/adoptive care ministry at Westside, please reach out to Jen Decker.
